One of the questions I get frequently is how to enjoy anal sex. Most of us have had a bad experience with butt sex…especially starting out. You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you? Here are some tips to ease you into ass play if you’re starting out. If you’re more experienced, you might run across something new.
Relax and take it slow
Start by relaxing your mind and your body. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare. Knowing you’re ready to play helps calm your mind and removes a lot of anxiety. Start by cleaning out long before it’s time to play. Do several sessions with short breaks between them. Take some time setting up where you’re going to play. Get everything you might want to use together. Put on your favorite chill playlist and dim the lighting to make it more erotic.
Start out solo
If you don’t have a lot of experience, start out solo. You can explore without feeling the pressure to perform. Plan several play dates with yourself. Tease your ass with your finger and lots of lube. Use a small toy or butt plug. The important thing is to focus on what you’re feeling. Play around with different toys, positions, and speeds to see what feels best to you. The more you play, the more you learn to relax.
Add a partner
Make a date with someone you trust. Be up front about your level of experience. Tell your partner what you’ve enjoyed in your solo sessions. It gives you both a common ground for where to begin. Communicate during sex. Let your partner know how you’re doing. Ask for more lube or a different position. Take a break if you need it. Tell him how good he feels inside you. Push back with your body. Make eye contact. It gives your partner confidence that he’s pleasing you and permission to ask for what would please him.
Easy does it
Like every other muscle in your body, your asshole needs to warm up before a big workout. You might play a little with a dildo before your date arrives. Better yet, do some foreplay with your partner. Let them use the toy, a finger, or their tongue to begin relaxing your hole. It’s a great way to build your desire for each other.
You’ve done your homework. You’re prepped and ready to rumble. Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself. Let down your inhibitions. Moan. Talk dirty. Snort like a pig. Beg for more. You may be the bottom, but you don’t have to be passive about it. Nothing motivates a top more than seeing the effect he has on his bottom. Playing off each other leads to heightened pleasure and longer sessions.
Know your limits
You know your body best. What feels good today might not tomorrow. Pay attention to that. Ignoring your limit leads to diminishing returns and frustration. If your ass has had enough, pivot to something else. Kiss. Cuddle. Have a snack. Dose off in each other’s arms. End the evening on a high note rather than hitting the wall.